I Am An Introvert

There are two basic personality types in people.  Those that are introverts and those that are extroverts.  One personality is not better than the other, they are just different.  And I am an introvert, as people that know me well can attest to.  Recently, I read an article about signs that you might be an introvert by Carmen Sakurai.  Each bulletin I was thinking, “Yeah, that’s me.”  So, I thought it would be interesting to write about each of those bulletins and discuss each one and how it applies to me and my life.

  1. You don’t enjoy small talk.

Well, that is certainly true for me.  I find it awkward to be with someone I barely know and having to chit-chat.  It’s not that I don’t care to get to know people, I just don’t want to talk about inane things just to hear myself speak.  I’ll listen to someone all day long, but if you want me to talk, it must be about something important.  Of course, that is also one of the things that make it hard for me to get to know anyone.  Not many people want or even have the time to make the effort to talk to someone who doesn’t want to talk.

And I also have the problem that I don’t really know how to make small talk.  Especially if I don’t really know the other person.  During a casual conversation with someone I don’t know well, my mind is racing.  Should I talk about the weather?  What about the Cowboys?  What does he/she want to talk about?  And while I’m trying to make up my mind to the best thing to talk about, I’m silent.

2. You have a love/hate relationship with your phone.

This one fits really well with me.  I absolutely hate talking on the phone.  If you call me and I actually talk to you, I must really like you.  There is almost nothing worse to me than talking a bunch of nonsense on the phone.  If you must call me, say what you need to say then let me get off the phone.  I won’t hang up on y0u, I consider that rude.  I’ll just be banging my head against the wall until you hang up.  And me not wanting to talk on the phone is no reflection on the person that calls me.  I don’t even like talking to my best friend on the phone.

3. You wait to text back.

Sometimes I will text back immediately.  And sometimes I will text back in three or four hours, if I remember.  It really depends on the mood I am in at the time.

4.  You find crowds stressful.

I hate large masses of people.  It really stresses me out and I become incredibly bitchy and mean.  I really really don’t like being around a lot of people.  I am much more comfortable somewhere where there are very few people.

5. You’re not anti-social, just selectively social.

And that is true.  I like people for the most part, I just don’t want to be around them or talk to them.  And I also don’t know how to talk to people or even what I am supposed to do when I’m ar0und groups of people.  But if someone has actually managed to inside my inner circle, I love just hanging out with them.

6. You enjoy being out with a group of people in small doses.

Big group dinners and parties are fun.  I enjoy them as long as I know 90% of the people there and there isn’t too many of them.  But, after a group gathering of any kind, I’m good for a few months.  I will happily retreat back to my cave with my cats and dogs.

I tried, unsuccessfully, to sell Mary Kay.  That did not go so well.  In order to be successful selling anything, you have to be willing and able to meet new people.  Not one of my strong suits.

7. You’re extremely observant and mindful of surroundings.

That is true most of the time.  Of course, I was also a police officer for six years and that is part of the training.  But, I’ve always been observant.  Most of that came from my love of people watching.  I have found that you learn quite a bit about someone if you just observe them.

8. You only unlock your heart for the most special of souls.

I don’t let many people in.  The majority of the people that know me have only scratched the surface.  But there are a few, like my wife, who has been able to get in.  Unfortunately, I find that most people don’t have the interest or the time to invest the effort that it takes for me to truly open up to them.  That is one of the reasons that I have always wished that I was more outgoing.  I wish I was one of those people who could make friends easily and often.  But, I am not so I am learning to love myself as I am.

9. You are creative.

I can be.  But I don’t consider myself an especially creative person.

10. You value listening..deeply.

I will listen to you all day long.  I’m good sounding board and a good person to vent to.  I may not have much to say, but I am listening to what you are saying.

11. You are highly introspective.

I will think a situation or problem to death.  I also worry a lot.  About everything.  I have to analyze every possible scenario and consider every angle.  It gets exhausting inside my head sometimes.

12. You think before you argue.

90% of all the arguments I have exist only in my head.  I’m not saying that I hear voices or anything.  I just will argue with whoever in my head about a million times before I actually voice an argument.  So, when I do argue with someone for real, it is after many imaginary arguments.

13. You are accused of flirting with everybody.

I don’t think this one is true for me.  My wife never accuses me of flirting and I don’t think I flirt all that much.

14. You enjoy time alone.

I not only enjoy time alone, I have to have time alone.  It is imperative that I have alone time or I will go insane.  When I don’t get sufficient time to myself by myself, I turn into the world’s biggest bitch.  I don’t want to talk to anyone, I don’t even want to look at anyone.  My family doesn’t always understand my need to be alone at times, but they try really hard.  Well, my daughter doesn’t try very hard.  She is the complete opposite of me in that regard.  She hates to be alone so she makes sure that she never is.  And neither am I.

15. You are rarely bored.

I can’t remember the last time I was bored.  I can also find something to occupy my time, even if is just sitting and thinking.  I actually do a lot of sitting and thinking.

16. You don’t trust easily.

That is absolutely true.  I trust very few people.  I can count on one hand how many people that I do trust.  And if someone betrays my trust, I cut them viciously out of my life and they are never again privy to the real me that I show so very few people.

17. You have a small group of close friends.

I do, a very small group.  And that is fine by me.  Well, mostly.  Like I stated earlier, I wish I could make friends easily, but I just can’t.  So the few people who I consider friends are rare gems to me.

18. You fiercely guard personal space.

I do.  I am so bad about this that my children are not allowed to enter my bedroom without permission first.  And they better have a really good reason that they need to be in there.

19. You’re more comfortable expressing yourself in writing.

I am.  Don’t ask me to make a public speech.  I might die from the anxiety of having to speak in front of people.  But I can write a pretty good speech.

And loved ones have noticed that if there is something weighing heavily on my mind, I will write about it.  I absolutely will not speak about it because when I am speaking, I cannot find the words that will truly describe what I need them to.

20. You’re great at getting stuff done.

This one is sometimes yes and sometimes no.  If it is something that I want to do, I get it done quickly.  But if it is something that I really don’t want to do, I can procrastinate with the best of them.

21. You’re a good judge of character.

I like to think that I am.  I’m not really sure about this one, though.  Even though I don’t trust easily, I try to find the best in everyone.

22. You’re great at making decisions.

I’m great at making big decisions.  If I have to decide on something that will be completely life-altering, I have absolutely no problem making that decision.  And I feel confident and comfortable with whatever decision I made.  But if I have to decide on what to eat for supper or what clothes to wear, that is huge.  I literally stress on these little things and change my mind about a dozen times.

23. You retain an air of mystery.

I don’t agree with this one.  I’m not mysterious by any means.  I’m just plain me.  For the most part, I try to have little effect on people’s lives, so they don’t think about me when I’m no longer there.

24. You are a loyal friend.

That is true.  If you manage to make it to my friend stage, I will back you and defend you against all odds.  I am one of those people that don’t mind getting a phone call at three in the morning if one of my friends needs me.  I will do just about anything that is in my power for one of my friends and I consider them family.

But the other side of that is if someone leaves the friend stage.  If someone proves that the only time they want to talk to me is because they want something, I will eventually get tired of that.  And if someone doesn’t seem to be concerned about how I’m doing or what is going on with my life, I get tired of that too.  I care deeply about my friends and I care about whatever it is they may be going through.  I will listen to them endlessly, give constructive criticism if asked for, and not judge.  But once someone proves that they cannot or will not do the same for me, I cut them out of my life rather harshly.  I will not respond to their text messages at all or answer any of their phone calls.  That is one of my flaws, and I realize that.  But, it is what it is.

There have been many times in my life that I have wished that I was an extrovert.  Many times being an introvert can be very lonely and can feel like no one cares.  I do know that is not the case, I know that a great many people care.  But I do have a tendency to completely block people from my life, most of the time I don’t even realize that I am doing it.

If you found this blog posting helpful or interesting, don’t forget to follow my blog.  You never know what I am going to be writing about next.  The signs and characteristics of an introvert came from the article 24 Signs You’re an Introvert Not Shy by Carmen Sakurai. http://www.lifehack.org/285869/24-signs-youre-introvert-not-shy?dgs=1



About annadhume

I am a former law enforcement officer of six years. Happily married with two kids, I am now branching out into the field of freelance writing.
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